Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I love black thongs
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
