STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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