addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
