Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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