We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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