What did we do last night that was yellow?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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