I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.