Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.