high people should be assigned attendants
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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