Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe