Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your mouth is God's brothel.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo