He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
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She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
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He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now