Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.