why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
