Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
