Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
