There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
