And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
