Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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