I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
