Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
