Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
