walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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