Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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