Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
