just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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