Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
