New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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