I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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