Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Umm I'm too high to move.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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