dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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