I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
A+ Viking dick
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
