My first STD was from a foam party
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
