He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
