forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
