Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
