So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
