The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
