well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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