thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
