Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
