chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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