So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
