Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
