she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hippo gnu deer
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
