i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
