i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
