You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
