Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i drank out of a bidet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
