who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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