I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
