Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
