im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
