what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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