i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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