I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
