i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
