I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
