I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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