No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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