have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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