You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
