I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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