Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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