one might say we're banned from that church
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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