Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
