If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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