Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
this hospital has no fireball
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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