guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
